I can remember days when the girls were smaller, and I felt like all I did was discipline, and say "no" constantly. Yes of course a lot of that was based on their age and the fact that me telling them "No" was keeping them safe. Keeping them from getting hurt. But lets face it, being a mom is tough. It's challenging, its exhausting, it's emotionally draining, BUT...it is the most rewarding job there is!
There are days when I go to bed feeling so defeated. Feeling like my efforts as a mom are just not cutting it. Filled with Joy that I get to be the mom of these two special girls, but overwhelmed at the task.
I often fill my heart with the pressure to produce "good" girls....Girls that love others and love Jesus with a fierce kind of love....that I neglect to fill my heart and my mind with the promises of God. The promise that they are His. That he died for them, just like he died for me. The understanding that his Grace covers them just like it covers me. In elevating my self and my ability to raise Children who live dangerously for Christ...I take away His role in their life and His sacrifice for them. Producing children who feel a constant need to be "good enough." I am learning that I can't produce good kids, because I am not a good mom. The only thing good in me is Christ and when I try to do things on my own....I will fail. Every. Single. Time.
I am thankful for The Grace of God that covers me daily. I need it. I need it as a woman, a wife, and I need it as a mom.
This past week both of my children at different times blessed their momma!
Alyssa had a envelope on the counter for me. It said, "Happy Mother's Day." I opened it to find this....
Bella came up to me and hugged me and said, "Mommy, you are the best mommy in the world. You love me the best and you always teach me about Jesus."
It was in that moment that I was reminded that we do not labor in vain. God sent me a reminder through the vessels of whom I spend so much of my time praying for and pouring in to on a daily basis. A reminder that they are getting it! The truth we are pouring in to their little hearts is soaking in.
For I will pour out water to quench your thirst and to irrigate your parched fields. And I will pour out my Spirit on your descendants, and my blessing on your children. They will thrive like watered grass, like willows on a riverbank. Isaiah 44:3-4